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q
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What's up, Water?
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a
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Chillin'.
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q
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The news said that you had pharmaceuticals in you… what’s your take on that?
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a
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Pharmaceutical drugs belong in little orange bottles. Not in me. It’s why I’m such a big fan of these filters.*
* Based on manufacturer testing of 12 pharmaceuticals. Pharmaceuticals may not be present in all users’ water.
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q
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Are you on Mars?
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a
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Let’s just say even Martians get thirsty.
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q
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Why do you keep coming into my basement?
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a
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You probably have foundation problems, and if so, you're talking to the wrong element.
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q
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What’s your sign?
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a
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Pisces. Seriously. Look it up.
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q
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Are you really clean and great-tasting when you're filtered from the tap?
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a
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When you filter me from your tap, I'm pretty much the same as I am in a plastic bottle. Except that I'm like 10 times cheaper. Oh and I don't have an expiration date. But other than that, we're pretty much the same.
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q
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Heard any good jokes?
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a
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Why is T like an island? Because it's in the middle of "water."
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What do you think of plastic bottles?
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a
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I’ve got nothing against bottles per se. It’s just I, of all elements, shouldn’t be trapped in a bottle. I’ve got things to do. Trees to grow, thirsts to quench, lives to save. I should be filtered at home and served out of the faucet. Not stuck in a bottle.
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q
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Do you prefer lakes or oceans?
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a
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I've rambled, babbled, gushed, poured, streamed, rushed, surged, ebbed, flowed… if I'm in motion, I'm happy.
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q
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Do you prefer being a liquid, solid, or gas?
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a
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Gas is pretty fun. The views are awesome. But I like staying fresh, clean, and liquid.
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q
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How often do you talk to air?
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a
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All the time. Scientifically speaking, we're actually first cousins.
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q
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Is fire your sworn enemy?
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a
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I wouldn’t go that far, but we rarely see eye to eye. I’ll leave it at that.
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q
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What's your favorite movie?
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a
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Everyone thinks it's Waterworld, but it's not. I want to help the world, not flood it. I love the classics, like Singin' in the Rain.
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q
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I'm going whitewater rafting next week. Got any advice?
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a
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To me, whitewater rafting is a contact sport. So prepare to be knocked around a little.
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q
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Which do you prefer, ounces or liters?
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a
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Truthfully, I’m not a big fan of either. Being bottled and measured just cramps my style.
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